There are times when I feel really down, when I'm confused and seemed like heaven's forgotten about me. The worst feeling is having no one to turn to and I'm on that point when I'm feeling like I'm falling into depression. I might be smiling on the outside, greeted people with a warm hug and smile but deep down I'm dying. I give people advises. I give them a shoulder to cry on. I cheer for them, make them feel I'm on their side. I share laughter with them. I tell them that every thing's going to be all right. Just because I feel their pain. My point is, I wish I could tell that to myself.
I'm seeing no light and I felt so lonely. I want to tell them my own burden but I'm afraid they might not understand. But then I realized, I'm the one who's obviously turning my back to people who are willing to lend a hand, to people who really care about me. I rarely talk personal 'cause I'm afraid I'll break down. I am never perfect. I am never true to myself. I have changing moods. I have this habit of keeping thoughts to myself and when I blurt them out, I feel like I'm being too nagging and opinionated. I hate myself just as much as I love it. Silence kills some people. I like it all the same. But maybe, I'm liking it because it's the only time I can think straight.
Now, I don't know what I am talking about anymore. This is me. I have so much running on my mind that I can't even keep up with the flow of a conversation. This is me writing this just so in case you're reading, you'll know how a person who seem so blessed has a dark past as well. You may not know everything in detail but you might understand.. This is me talking not only about myself. This is me telling you that I will always understand and sympathize and acknowledge your feelings. I know how it feels to be alone and it would help a lot if we show some weakness a few times, cry a few times, but it would pay off if we choose to still stand up despite everything and beat every challenges coming our way.
If you want to make life easy, reminisce on the past but never let it drag you down one more time. Acknowledge your flaws and be proud. No one's going to love you as much as you do. You might be flawed, you've hurt and offended a lot but take time to ponder and make sure you never do the same mistake again. Apologize sincerely to whom you've done wrong. You might lose them but remember you are just a person. Never neglect taking care of everyone who are still here. People come and go but hold onto them as long as they are with you so you won't regret a single time you let them go. Smile and mean it. Life is too short to focus on what's hurting you. Life is too long for opportunities you'd have to grab. Share your life to people who you can inspire and trust you rather than on people who's always picking on what you're lacking as a person. Lastly, be positive, you'll carry on.
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